Fortunately

A man had wanted to ride in an airplane all of his life. Unfortunately, he had never had the opportunity. Fortunately, on his sixty-fifth birthday, a pilot offered him a plane ride. Unfortunately, while the pilot was doing an acrobatic maneuver, the man fell out of the plane. Fortunately, he was wearing a parachute. Unfortunately, he did not know how to open the chute. Fortunately, the pilot of the plane was able to fly close to him and tell him how to open it. Unfortunately, the chute would not open. Fortunately, there was a haystack below him. Unfortunately, there was a pitchfork in the haystack with the sharp end pointed up. Fortunately, he missed the pitchfork. Unfortunately, he missed the haystack. Fortunately, this is a fictional account!